Pat Dollard | Young Americans

I finally could stop laughing long enough to post this. It is from a Newsbusters article by Warner Todd Huston.

Where I’m from, we call guys like this bums.

Much of what we do here at Newsbusters is serious commentary on the leftist bias in this world, issues that are consequential to the debate between right and left. But, today we can sit back and have a little lighthearted fun with our lefty friends without all that worry and seriousness hovering over us like a cloud of leftist generated noxious gas. So… do ya wanna hear something funny?

The Telegraph brings us the heart wrenching tale of one Mr. Mark Boyle, the man who thought he was going to backpack on foot from Bristol, England to Mahatma Gandhi’s birthplace in Porbander, India. Unfortunately, Mr. Boyle was crestfallen to have to quit this noble effort early. And we are all the poorer for it.

Speaking of poorer…

Mr. Boyle, who is a member of the Freeconomy Movement, wanted to do this important trek all to bring the world “peace.” So selfless, ain’t he? Yes, Boyle was courageously trying to bring the whole wide world’s attention to his quest so that all men everywhere could be consoled that one man, one lone but resolute fellow, could have the chips to launch such a heroic effort, one that would bring the world to its feet in solidarity and awe. Who could want to fight after that, eh?

Being a good member of that aforementioned society of high thinkers and humanitarians, he thought he was going to do it without a penny in his pocket, too. See, the Freeconomy Movement imagines that everything can be free, that money is unnecessary. In fact, they want to completely do away with money.

So, off he went one bright and sunny British morn to begin this legendary journey about which, one day, movies would surely be made, books written, cults begun even. And perhaps Mr. Boyle might be at long last able to impress the birds down at the pub, too? The world held its breath and excitement arose with Boyle’s every step as he started his epic, storybook effort.

The Telegraph gives us the soul stirring details…

Mark Boyle, 28, who began his trip with only t-shirt, sandals and a bandage four weeks ago, hoped that strangers along the way would provide him with food and places to stay.

But disaster struck only four weeks later because for all their claims of being peace lovers, the stinkin’ French stuck a pin in Boyle’s peaceiness balloon.

After reaching Calais Mr Boyle made the decision to quit his trip because as he could not speak French people thought he was an asylum seeker or a freeloader and would not give him food or board.

The 28-year-old kept an online diary of his adventure, where in one of his final entries he wrote: “…they had also seen us as just a bunch of freeloading backpackers, which is the complete opposite of what the pilgrimage is about”.

Argh! Wars will now rage unabated where peace was just about to dawn. People will call others names, clowns will be looked down upon, Brussels sprouts will still receive not an ounce of respect from small children. Some ill mannered sap may even kick a puppy now that Boyle’s wondrous adventure has met its too early demise.

Oh, the humanity.

Mr Boyle… apologised to his supporters and said that he was unable to find words to express his disappointment at having to quit.

Yes, the world is all in darkness. Despair is still our uninvited companion. The hand of black death still grips us tightly.

Imagine these darn French people? Looking upon this scruffy, unkempt, penniless, freeloader looking for a free meal and imagining he is a scruffy, unkempt, penniless, freeloader looking for a free meal! Don’t they know what is at steak here (uh, I mean stake)? Why it’s none other than peace in our times, man! You know how Brits like to have “peace in our times,” doncha? Heck, it’s always just around the corner.

Oh, those French talk a good game about all that peace stuff, but here — right when peace was almost within their grasp — they let it all slip away and just because they refused to part with a meal or two. Not a speck of cheese, a thimble of wine… not a single croissant could these misers spare.

So, now humanity will have to wait for another scruffy, unkempt, penniless, freeloader looking for a free meal to bring the enlightenment to us all.

MAN! And we were THAT close, too!

(Newsbusters)