March 20 – 21 , 2008
Tweet
10:16 A.M.
Was up till 8 A.M. Slept a couple hours, just got up.
When I realized in my reawakening mind that this was the actual 5th anniversary of the war, I got a feeling that was a little indescribable, about how much my life has changed because of it, it was a strange, I don’t know, kind of sock-in-the-gut feeling, how much the lives of so many people I know and knew had changed, and how I could at best only imagine how much the lives of so, so many more I didn’t know had changed….I remember all the chatter at the place I worked when 9-11 happened…Propaganda Films…people talking about how the world wasn’t quite ever going to be the same again…and me more just thinking about how many people might end up dead in those buildings, but my mind not really “getting” what people meant when they talked about America never being the same again, like I almost thought they were reading too much into it, exaggerating…everything was too big for my mind to wrap around, I guess…and looking not all back at all now, but still living how drastically my America has changed, how much still is left to change as I sit on the precipice of going to Afghanistan, maybe Mosul….the Marines and families I correspond with every day…how to me, what is “news”, is a daily reality, and how much more so for others it is…I remember the streets driving home on 9-11, the silence on the flooded Los Angeles streets, the feeling of family amongst us all those days, we were a group then, a clan, a united body….I remember how much “race” was a topic on the t.v. news, and how all of that sort of disappeared as the commonality of being Americans who all faced standing in the same crosshairs and who were suddenly brothers and sisters….family…in a way I had never seen in my lifetime….yes….everthing changed….everything became more demanding….difficult….fighting for life, not merely enyoying it’s low-hanging fruit….
11:52 A.M.
3:32 P.M.
I’m not a tinfoil hat guy, a UFO guy, any of that really, but I am very much an instinct-following/somewhat psychic guy. And that’s just come not from any belief or attempt at it, there’s just been a sufficient amount of instances in my life where I’ve been able to call things about to happen, sometimes within days/weeks, sometimes within minutes. You’ll see some of that on tape. So it’s an empirical evidence thing. Based on not an assload, but a fairly long laundry list of quite specific intuitive “predictions”, I pay probably atypically close attention to my guts and instincts. Sometimes I feel things brewing in me vaguely for a period of time, and then details will begin to crystalize and whatever’s been somewhat haunting me becomes clearer and ultimately manifested.
So anyway, for no good reason, starting last week, I have been seized with an obsession to acquire a variety of firearms and ammo, and have been doing so. I feel a little bit like something’s brewing in my gut, like info is gnawing at the edges of my consciousness. ( Celebrity detective/protective services maven Gavin DeBecker has addressed some of this in his book “The Gift of Fear” ) And a friend of mine, who I hadn’t even spoken to in awhile and was not really a gun person, just told me last night he’d just joined the NRA. Something’s in the air….and I’m starting to think it’s not just November…
4:10 P.M.
So Bash just told me that little green lights means my retina’s redetaching….may just take an easy fix of keeping my head down again, whatever, I in’ surrender, I’ve also got the MRI next week and the eye doc on Tuesday. By the way, when I write about like this it isn’t feel sorry for me sympathy, it’s just letting everyone know what’s going on, and not being reverse-phony of “Everthing’s just great”. That reminds me of false humility which chaps my ass as much as braggadocio.
Weird thing is, my ex-secretary ( and more ) and I, who I wrote about here ( just scroll down to the 7:54 PM entry, it’s in Deep Thoughts) have been emailing each other quite a bit over the last two days, and are going to get together to go shooting. Just as I was earlier explaining her unusual appeal in terms of her X-Box obsessesion and all that other that made her so cool, today she looks at a list of pictures of my guns and writes “Glock 21, please”. I couldn’t believe it. She’s is in no way a gun expert and immediately picks out my favorite weapon, ( and which was recommended to me by a Special Forces guy ) of which I have two in two different states (and plan to get three more of in the 21C, since the refire is supposedly much more accurate given the lessened kick). Anyway, that ‘s not even the point. In her email she writes this:
“there are definately things that happen, or places that i’ll be, and i’ll think of some stupid crap we laughed about, or some random funny story of something stupid we did. it’s just sorta weird because everything was all messed up with the insanity after Iraq, and we haven’t talked since then. well – like you said, maybe not worth writing about… maybe talking about. or…. something….
SO
anyway, i’m very glad that you’re doing well. and i would love to see your dumb ass.
let me know when you have time. i like how you asked me if i’ve ever shot. um… let’s think about that question, shall we? the answer to that would be YES. and then DUH – because the second or third time i went was actually WITH you, freak-o.”
I have absolutely no recollection of ever having gone shooting with her. Our time together was only about a 90-day pre-Iraq whirlwind where we were joined at the hip in and out of the office. And in LA, going to an indoor range with a 21 year old hottie is just not something anyone is going to forget. Memory loss like that, and I’ve had a few more things brought up to me here and there by others about things I did stone cold sober and can’t remember…have got me genuinely concerned about the TBI issue. At the end of the day, none of it matters. I’ll take it all and more and I’m going back. All worth it, no regrets, and a burning desire to get back in the game….for all the right reasons….
March 21, 2008
11:12 A.M.
Everyone else is playing at the river. I’d be playing at the river. If it were more important. Pay is more important sometimes, just not today…I lent my buddy my laptop bag….because his M4 fit perfectly in it…
2:02 P.M.
It’s way too early in China.
2:13 P.M.
I had no in idea Easter was Sunday. Not saying its the reason why, but the media wasn’t exactly saturated with any tip-offs to the fact…
3:39 P.M.
Editorial from UC Berkeley’s Student Paper today:
For many of the protest groups recently active on and around campus, it’s time to see the writing on the wall. The chances for these demonstrations to succeed are slim, to say the least. The UC regents will not budge on the BP deal. The new athletic center will be built. And the Marines are not retreating from Berkeley.
In response to the Marine protest, Move America Forward, a conservative activist group, ran television ads lambasting Berkeley by name. Is this what Mayor Bates and Code Pink wanted? Probably not, but their stubbornness have cast shame upon themselves and, by extension, our city and university.
Yet another protest erupted when “Fresh” climbed into the tree across from Dwinelle Hall. Most people probably didn’t even know why he was up there. His presence required constant police supervision, drawing resources away from the city and university.
Which brings us to the Memorial Stadium tree-sitters. The San Francisco Chronicle reported that $367,000 has been spent by UC Berkeley to protect the protesters with fences and guards. That’s the equivalent of more than three full rides to Berkeley. And this report came out three months ago-it’s anybody’s guess what that figure is now. Is that progressivism in action?
UC Berkeley has a rich history of free speech and of broaching controversial ideas. That shouldn’t change, and will not change after these protesters cease their activities. But these demonstrations bring little but ridicule to our community. Where we were once a city of tolerance and progressivism, we are now a city of tree-sitters and obnoxious Marine-bashers.
Lambasting Berkeley’s Marines is offensive, considering their selfless service. And draining valuable funds to protect tree-sitters is harmful to all of us. Cal’s “progressive” community needs to organize their demonstrations in a more respectful and organized manner, so that Berkeley’s free speech legacy lives on in a way that benefits, not harms, its intended audience.
4:39 P.M.
Why is Easter so early this year?
4:43 P.M.
6:31 P.M.
Note to readers: Starting next week, the number of “Latest Videos” posted on the front page will double from 6 to 12.
6:39 P.M.
6:48 P.M.
 |
|