Pat Dollard

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MSNBC:

What it is: Scentuelle’s “libido patch” for women. A 60-day supply is $29.95 at www.scentuellepatch.com

What it claims to do: Turn you on. Scentuelle’s scented patch is designed to be worn daily on the wrist to “enhance feelings of sexuality through our sense of smell.”

My experience: Let me set the stage: I have a 14-month old son, a cat with a hairball problem, an overworked husband, a full-time job, and lately, what seems to be a chronic cold. Suffice it to say, I just haven’t felt as sexy as I did, say, 23 months ago.

I was dubious that a scented patch could put a dent in that, but the sweet nothings the company whispered across my computer screen were irresistible. “Stimulate your sex drive with a safe, discrete aroma patch backed by scientific research and fully guaranteed,” the Web site promised.

When my supply of Scentuelle patches arrived in the mail, I eagerly slapped one of the clear plastic ovals on the inside of my wrist where I hoped no one would notice. That would be a tough one to explain to a stranger, I figured.

I felt a sudden sensation. Unfortunately, it was nausea.

In all fairness, this may not be the patch’s fault. Left to its own devices, the patch smells sweet and somewhat lemony, perhaps a touch floral. But day after day, the sweet smell didn’t sit well with me. Ironically, it gave me a headache.

Nevertheless, I was committed to the endeavor.

As part of the 30-day program, the company also sent daily e-mails reminding me to “sniff your patch!” and offering tips. They were always sent by someone named “Linda” who wrote in a cozy, best-friend kind of way. A naughty best friend, that is.

The first tip encouraged me to “periodically throughout the day, touch yourself sensually by stroking your fingertips gently across your arms, neck, hair and ear lobe. Tease yourself by brushing against your breasts and inner thighs.”

I was at work. It didn’t seem like a good time. Also tabled for later was the tip from Day 10 that encouraged me to think about what would turn me on and Google “female sexual fantasies.”

While I passed on doing that particular Iinternet search, to my surprise, I did find myself thinking more about “sexy time,” as Borat would say. Those blush-worthy e-mails were actually working. They forced me to slow down and remember that, after I clean baby food off my shirt, wipe off the drool and put my little angel to bed, there’s a whole night awaiting me and his fascinating, sexy daddy.

What the expert says: “There’s definite scientific evidence that (scent) can cause sexual arousal,” says Kathi Keville, author of “Aromatherapy for Dummies” and director of the American Herb Association.

The makers of Scentuelle don’t reveal what the exact ingredients are, instead saying they’re “proprietary fragrance,” but Keville says the word “fragrance” itself should be a tipoff that the patch likely contains synthetic ingredients, which can cause headaches in some people.

In Keville’s book, she lists the top scents that women are attracted to: licorice (specifically Good & Plenty candies), pumpkin pie spice, lavender and a mixture of licorice and cucumber. (The scents that she says are found to turn women off could be bad news for guys. They include men’s cologne and barbecue.)

The scents that turn men on most, she said, all seem to be food related and include cinnamon buns and pumpkin pie spice.

Bottom line: While the scent of the patches gave me a headache, those bawdy daily e-mails did prod me into thinking about romance more – and feeling sexier. But in the future, instead of wearing the patch, I know to hand my husband a pastry and grab myself a box of Good & Plentys.