The $2 Million Ass
By Stephen White - (Mirror)
Grandad Graham Butterfield has the most valuable buttocks in Britain.
His backside is so sensitive, his bosses have insured it for £1million. As official bed bouncer, the 54-year-old gives his verdict on the quality of mattress fillings.
Graham said: “It may sound silly but my bottom is not like the normal bottom. I have increased sensitivity around the buttock area and can feel the difference in the materials used in beds. I am very proud to be the owner of a £1million backside.
“I want to make it clear that my bottom’s super-powers are quite natural. I have no need of a special care regime.”
The insurance price-tag matches that put on Beyonce’s and J Lo’s behinds. Graham’s duties at Silentnight in Barnoldswick, Lancs, involve bouncing on beds and giving feedback on softness, textures and fillings. His reports help decide which beds go on the market.
He said: “It makes it all worthwhile being the butt of people’s jokes - they are only jealous of my job.”
Steven Simpson, manager at Silentnight, said: “The policy is worth every penny.”
£3.5m The amount Bruce Springsteen’s voice is insured for. Keith Richards’ hands are covered to the tune of £1million.
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