The Coming Of B. Hussein Almighty To Drillanwr’s Valley

August 5th, 2008 Posted By drillanwr.

1

As I rolled out of bed this morning, amid the damn ‘cawing’ of the dysfunctional area crows who don’t understand Austintown is NOT farm country, but a suburb with no crops …

I heard the triumphant blast of angelic celestial trumpets to foretell of the Messiah’s miraculous appearance in my hometown.

My benevolent husband blessed me with the dark holy water from the sanctuary of the Speed Way fuel and quick-stop depot up the way from our dwelling … and my soul was refreshed.

I wandered through the clutter of the cave and reached for the one button that connects me to the conservative prophets that preach the preservation of our Constitution and the independence and ingenuity of this country … and warn of a coming “Change” to be brought upon us by a jackass cloaked in Commie Red. And there it came forth from my radio airwaves … His bellowing voice, unsure if he should pepper with East Chicago inflection, Baptist Preacher hype, or NE Ohio nasal echo.

Ye, he walkethed into the musty halls of the local high school where just a couple years before my older daughters strolled … and into the holy sports shrine of the Austintown gymnasium where they ran ’suicides’, sweated, puked, and hit the floor to ‘dig’ the volleyballs from hitting the shiny sacred floor … all for the glory of the State Championship run under the command of the Great and Powerful warrior Coach Case.

The Messiah cometh and proclaims HE is the One True Answer to all that afflicts the rusty Mahoning Valley … and ALL that has since the dawn of Brier Hill.

It was just last decade when the holy socialist fore bearer, Willie The Blue Dress Baptist and his Apostle Algore Champion Of Carbon Credits came through this same stratosphere and pointed out to the unenlightened blue collar union masses that The Valley be the armpit of the nation, and he be the deodorant we required to become acceptable to the rest of the country and liked by the world.

He cometh, The Messiah Hussein, and reminds the masses that they are poor wandering sheep that need hand-feeding and stroking from the government. That we are but children who know-not how to care for ourselves … or pack the fuck up and move to someplace else.

Yo, the Valley brethren be slipping into the dreaded turmoil of the unemployed and uneducated … Never mind the disciples that have been running the Temple Mahoning Valley have been all of the democrat tribe since The Ohio Valley Dark Ages.

But BEHOLD! Messiah Hussein, fallow be his Muslim name and snooty suit, has stretched out his hands and offered the cure for the Valley. He will bleed from the evil demon oil companies a $1000 to feed the oil starved followers … and he will grant a $7000 indulgence to those who bow their heads and covet a hybrid car (which makes the heretic hearing the sermon to ponder the cost of said relic for such a tax credit).

And ye, he will convert Valley industry into alternative fuel pioneers and lead the country and the world in the Holy Crusade against the evil American oil companies, and throw their gas pumps into the Fires Of Mordor … once and for all.

And he listenethed to the well-rehearsed questions and comments by ‘the chosen ones’ of the fawning audience … The [female,black] union teacher, the gruff union guy on strike, the too-young-to-vote-too-dumb-to-vote youthling, the $20-word city guy Burgess that would entice Hussein into requesting the man follow him and tackle with the giant Sean Hannity in the land of Fox.

And the adoring masses leaned forward, touched the hem of his hollow suit, and fainted at his German-soiled shoes. And they were full-filled and at peace with all the Messiah Hussein had promised them.

So let it be written … So let it be done.

Salami … Salami … Baloney …

Obama Akbar …

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The Gospel According To (Vindy.com)

AUSTINTOWN — U.S. Sen. Barack Obama has arrived at Austintown Fitch High School and is delivering a speech in which he has said he will outline his energy proposal, which includes eliminating the need for oil from the Middle East and Venezuela in a decade.

The presumptive Democratic presidential nominee began his “New Energy for America” tour Monday in Lansing, Mich., and brings it to the Mahoning Valley today.

About 2,000 people are at the meeting in the school’s gymnasium.

Obama update: “…after one president in the pocket of the oil companies – we can’t afford another.”

Excerpts, as prepared for delivery, from U.S. Sen. Barack Obama’s remarks to be delivered at Austintown Fitch High School this morning as provided by his campaign staff:

“Unfortunately, in this election, Senator McCain has proposed an energy plan that’s nothing but four years more of the same.

“He’s offering a plan with no significant investments in alternative energy. He’s offering a gas tax holiday that will pad oil company profits and save you – at best – half a tank of gas over the course of an entire summer. And he’s offering $4 billion more in tax breaks to the biggest oil companies in America – including $1.2 billion to Exxon-Mobil, a company that just recorded the largest profit in the history of the United States.

“A company that, last quarter, made the same amount of money in 30 seconds that a typical Ohio worker makes in a year. All while here in Ohio, you’re paying nearly $3.70 a gallon for gas – two and a half times what it cost when President Bush took office. Senator McCain not only wants oil companies to keep every dime of that money, he wants to give them more. Well, I don’t know about you, but I don’t think that’s the change we need…

“And while Senator McCain’s plan won’t save you at the pump anytime soon, it sure has done a lot to raise campaign dollars. Senator McCain raised more than $1 million from the oil industry just last month, most of which came after he announced his plan for offshore drilling to a room full of cheering oil executives.

“Because after one president in the pocket of the oil companies – we can’t afford another. For the sake of our economy, our security, and the future of our planet, we must end the age of oil in our time…

“But if we seize this moment, and meet the challenge, we can open to door to a new economy for the 21st century that will bring new energy, new jobs and new hope to Youngstown and communities across Ohio and this nation…”

Obama upate No. 2: Answering questions at Fitch
August 5th, 2008 10:43 a.m.

AUSTINTOWN — Despite being about 45 minutes late for his appearance at Fitch High School, U.S. Sen. Barack Obama was greeted with a rousing welcome this morning.

Obama was introduced by Gov. Ted Strickland, who called him “bright, young, energetic and intelligent.”

When Obama mentioned that he and Strickland had both celebrated birthdays Monday, the approximately 2,000 people in attendance serenaded the two with a rendition of “Happy Birthday.”

Before Obama arrived, a group of women wearing Service Employee International Union T-shirts danced, waving their hands over their heads and chanting “Oh-ba-ma.”

ABC Television’s Diane Sawyer arrived this morning, along with a crew of at least a dozen, to interview Obama in the Fitch band room after the event.

Obama delivered a speech in which he has outlined his energy proposal. He is currently answering questions from the crowd.

The presumptive Democratic presidential nominee began his “New Energy for America” tour Monday in Lansing, Mich.

Obama update No. 3: Obama links “economy in turmoil” with Bush administration
August 5th, 2008 11:13 a.m.

YOUNGSTOWN, Ohio (AP) — Barack Obama sought on Tuesday to link what he called an “economy in turmoil” with administration energy policies that he asserted Vice President Dick Cheney helped shape. Setting things right will require “all hands on deck efforts,” he said.

With polls showing concern over gas prices a prime concern of Americans, Obama has been depicting energy as the nation’s most pressing national security and economic issue. In that effort, he criticizes Republican rival John McCain as more concerned about oil company profits and drilling than an overall energy strategy.

“McCain has taken a page out of the Cheney playbook,” the Democratic presidential candidate said at Austintown Fitch High School.

Among other things, Obama has proposed a $1,000-per family energy rebate to be paid for by a tax on excessive energy-company profits. He called for ending U.S. reliance on oil from the Middle East and Venezuela over the next 10 years, a project he said would cost the U.S. $150 billion.

Obama has also proposed borrowing oil from the strategic petroleum reserve, a conditional and limited resumption of offshore drilling, and a new emphasis on alternative energy sources and hybrid vehicles.

“Our economy is in turmoil, I don’t have to tell the people of Youngstown,” Obama told the packed gymnasium audience. “People here have known some hard knocks and hard times.”

Book Of Revaluations::

Obama praised during Fitch appearance

AUSTINTOWN — Despite his poor performance in the March primary in the Mahoning Valley, Barack Obama was treated like a conquering hero upon his return to the area.

An enthusiastic crowd of about 2,000 rose to their feet and cheered for the presumptive Democratic presidential nominee repeatedly during a town hall-style meeting today at Austintown Fitch High School.

“He is the epitome of hope and change,” said Karla Randall of Canfield, the mother of three sons. “I love his policies and his passion. He’s an example to my sons to not be afraid, be willing to take a risk and to do it with respect for God and people.”

During a question-and-answer session, Truman Burgess of Warren, a retired Lordstown General Motors worker, praised Obama for not being afraid to change his position on issues, particularly those dealing with energy.

“When change happens, you reassess,” Burgess said.

Obama was pleased with the comment saying, “That’s pretty good” three times.

The Epistle According To Tapper:

Obama Promises to ‘End the Age of Oil in Our Time’
Obama Mocks McCain’s Tactics, Energy Policy to Blue Collar Crowd in Key Swing State
By JAKE TAPPER and SUNLEN MILLER

August 5, 2008
YOUNGSTOWN, Ohio—

A day after saying the U.S. could produce enough renewable energy within 10 years to replace all U.S. imports of Middle East oil — a goal even he admitted sounded “pie in the sky” — Sen. Barack Obama, D-Ill., said “for the sake of our economy, our security, and the future of our planet, we must end the age of oil in our time.”

At the beginning of his town hall meeting focused on energy policy at the Austintown Fitch High School this morning, in this blue-collar burg in a pivotal swing state, Obama told the estimated crowd of 2,400 Ohioans, “I can tell this is a feisty group.”

But the senator’s feistiness was on display as well, as he mocked his Republican opponent’s campaign tactics and energy plan, and pushed an aggressive “use it or lose it” strategy for offshore oil leases.

Seeking to shift focus away from the debate over whether oil companies should be permitted to conduct more offshore drilling exploration, Obama said, “Right now, oil companies have access to 68 million acres where they aren’t drilling. So we should start by giving them a choice: use it or lose it. Use the land you have, or give up your leases to someone who will.”

After Obama noted local gas prices — $3.70 a gallon, “two and a half times what it cost when President Bush took office”  a member of the audience yelled out: “They had a plan!”

“They had a plan,” agreed Obama. “Problem was it was the oil company plan. It was the gas company plan. We need a people plan! And that’s why I’m running for president.”

Energized Battle
Obama also had some words about his opponent.

“John McCain wants to talk about Britney Spears, and Paris Hilton,” Obama said, referring to his opponent’s TV ad dismissing Obama as a mere “celebrity.” “That’s his idea of a really relevant campaign. But I don’t have time to deal with that mess, because America’s facing some serious problems. America’s facing some serious challenges.”

The presumptive Democratic presidential nominee told the crowd how McCain had yesterday in eastern Pennsylvania repeatedly said “we have to drill here and drill now.”

“Instead of offering a real plan to lower gas prices, the only energy plan that he’s really promoting is more drilling,” Obama said. “That’s what he talked about yesterday. I want to drill here. I want to drill now. I don’t know where he was standing,” he said as the crowd laughed. “I think he was in a building somewhere.”

He continued to paint McCain as “in the pocket” of oil companies.

“The oil companies have placed their bet on Senator McCain, and if he wins, they will continue to cash in while our families and our economy suffer and our future is put in jeopardy,” Obama said, adding that McCain offers “four years more of oil companies calling the shots while hard-working families are struggling.”

At one point, asked about his support for high-speed rail, Obama lapsed into what was almost a comedy routine. All he needed was a fake brick wall behind him and a two-drink minimum.

“If you think about the Midwest, think about right here, what we’ve got is all kind of towns that we could connect,” Obama said. “All of these cities are, they basically take in the air about 45 minutes to an hour to fly.”

“But by the time you get to the airport,” Obama continued, “take off your shoes, get to the terminal, realize that your flight’s been delayed two hours, go pay $10 for a cup of coffee, and a sandwich for another $10, come back, you get on the plane, you’re sitting on the tarmac for another 25 minutes, you finally take off, you’re circling above the city for another half hour, when you land they can’t find your luggage, and then you get to where you’re going — by the time it’s all done it’s a five-hour trip! &So the time is right now for us to start thinking about high-speed rail as an alternative to air transportation, connecting all these cities and think about what a great project that would be in terms of rebuilding America.”

Going Negative
Obama found a supportive crowd, and was greeted with cheers when he attacked his opponent for waging a negative and misleading campaign.

“When John McCain’s campaign goes out there and starts saying things like I’d rather lose a war to win an election, or when he says that somehow I didn’t want to visit the troops in Germany even though every reporter says that’s not true, well, you’re not trying to solve problems,” Obama said.

“All you’re trying to do is divide people, so you can win an election. That’s nothing to be proud of. Let’s have a real honest debate about policies that are going to make a difference in people’s lives.”

Obama was introduced by Ohio Gov. Ted Strickland, a former supporter of Sen. Hillary Clinton, D-N.Y., who promised, “We will put our heart and soul into every day between now and November 4th . . . to make sure, that this bright, young, energized, compassionate, intelligent, committed, young man by the name of Barack Obama becomes our next president.”


14 Responses

  1. sully

    >”… a light will shine through that window, a beam of light will come down upon you, you will experience an epiphany … and you will suddenly realize that you must go to the polls and vote for Obama” - Barack Obama, Lebanon, New Hampshire. January 7, 2008.

  2. Rob

    Hey that pic is my desktop background. lol I’ve been checking alexa, and guess what the traffic to Patdollard is the same as Obama.com ROFL Funniest thing is that Obama.com has dropped to about half what it used to be earlier in the year. lol Just wait until the November numbers come in.

  3. Rob

    never mind. Obama.com is a japaneese web site
    :mad: stupid stupid stupid. :lol:

  4. Rob

    actually scratch that again. Obama IS getting only half the traffic he used to be getting. lol

  5. drillanwr (Free Ramos and Compean, Then Drill For Oil!)

    :arrow: Dollardites

    A 1000 pardons, as I forgot to end my above piece on the Prince Of Hope and Change with the Obama Creed:

    I want you to want me.
    I need you to need me.
    Id love you to love me.
    Im beggin you to beg me.

    I want you to want me.
    I need you to need me.
    I’d love you to love me.
    I’ll shine up the old brown shoes, put on a brand-new shirt.
    I’ll get home early from work if you say that you love me.

    Didn’t I, didn’t I, didn’t I see you cryin?
    Oh, didn’t I, didn’t I, didn’t I see you cryin?
    Feelin all alone without a friend, you know you feel like dyin.
    Oh, didn’t I, didn’t I, didn’t I see you cryin?

  6. nfdel

    My hometown is Youngstown. I don’t live there now, but I will always call it home. Way too depressing of a place. I know the people there well. Eventhough the Steel Valley has been “blue” in the past politically speaking, I don’t see them falling for Barry’s phoney bullshit. They may have fallen for John Kerry, but Barry Obama. He will be seen as an arrogant ass who has no idea how to change a tire.

  7. nfdel

    Save the YSU Penguins

  8. Mike W

    Drill: Did you take a shower yet? I do not have enough disinfectants and I only read this from a distance.

  9. drillanwr (Free Ramos and Compean, Then Drill For Oil!)

    :arrow: Mike W

    As a matter of fact … yes.

    About to dry my hair and take a deep and cleansing breath.

  10. Kim

    :arrow: Drill :beer: :beer:

    Gotta say girl, if everything goes down, I’d want you close at hand. You can point to truth with uncanny clarity, and at the same time, I’m pissin’ my pants laughing :mrgreen:

    :arrow: “Obama has also proposed borrowing oil from the strategic petroleum reserve…”

    “borrow” is a word that has no meaning in a politician’s lexicon, along with “temporary tax”, and “read my lips”. The politicians “borrowed” social security money and we know how that’s going :gun:

  11. Becky

    Awesome writing, Drill!! Hilarious.

    ““They had a plan,” agreed Obama. “Problem was it was the oil company plan. It was the gas company plan. We need a people plan! And that’s why I’m running for president….”

    DID ANYONE HEAR HIS PLAN? I see him attempting to explain McCain’s, yet I never heard his ‘plan’. HM.

    Idiot.

  12. drillanwr (Free Ramos and Compean, Then Drill For Oil!)

    My daughter Kate says of her high school (in an IM to me):

    “ew … It must be burned down now … To rid his evil spirits …”

  13. Brian H

    Oblabla has no shame! But more and more there’s the feel that he’s cruisin’ for a bruisin’. Rasmussen: counting leaners, McCain is up 1%.

  14. Steve Hermeyer

    Reading this latest spiritual installment in the exalted life of the great Barry Hussein, I just want to puke. Thanks for all the insults, asshole! We, the great unwashed ignorant redneck Republicans who don’t have the intellectual prowess of a small soapdish wonder how we ever managed to survive all these years without such great leadership and vision. Now that I am no longer registered as a Republican (because it is a hatecrime here in Oregon) I can be for John McCain without feeling ashamed and guilty, so turn off the charm already. I can only imagine how F—d up it will be if all the lemmings vote for you. Let’s see,Joh Edwards will be Attorney General, Al Bore, the secretary of the interior, energy, EPA, and Carbon Credit Commerce, Al Sharpton-secretary of State, OJ SImpson, secretary of the Homeland Security, Ron Dellums, Secretary of Defense, Harry Reid, Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, Nancy Pelosi, Ambassador to the UN, and so on. It should only take about six months for the people to revolt, unless the new goverment and economy just implode on their own……. includes/images/smilies/icon_gun.gif

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