Pat Dollard | Young Americans

So far, about 1 out of every 50 adults in America have been to this website since Monday.

We’re keeping this at the top for awhile, for obvious reasons. Brand new stories are being posted below it.

And the traffic rush has left us with this:

There are more than 8 circles of Hell. There actually 52 phone calls of Hell. Along with a ream of unnecessary charges for fixes that don’t work because your server company never properly diganoses the real prolem in the first place.

There is anger, there are broken and smashed objects, there is yet another reason to hate SNL, there is Bashman picking the Xanax back up, there are innocent people hurled off of buildings, others shot in drive-bys, and beaten spouses (both male and female) cowering in corners or hiding in basements and attics. There are children who want to know where their “real” mommy or daddy are. There are employees of a certain Internet Server company, who frantically rush from their office to car, looking over their shoulder the whole time, clutching mace, and then do the same rushing from car to house, bolting the door and hammering plywood to the windows. There is blood in the streets of the town of New Haven, blood staining the roots of the palm trees of Venice.

But there is a solution. If Lloyd, the last person I spoke to at our server’s host company is correct, and it appears almost certain that he is, than the problem has finally been solved, and it’ll take about an hour and a half to get it fixed properly once and for all. I also just paid ( and will get a refund for, since for four days the best server company in the country couldn’t figure out the obvious) for a temp fix to help with this morning.

You haven’t been able to get on the site, the site has been running slow, and we haven’t been able to post (including the pre-order announcement), but it would now appear those days are just a short window of time before a metaphorical midnight of the final one behind us. You may still find it a little rough going for another hour or so.

Jesus H. Christ, and praise the real one.

Pat Dollard