Pat Dollard

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Aside from Israel kicking the out of Hamas and the surrounding cesspool, pretty much post-Christmas ‘peace on Earth’ slow news cycle.

So, was just over at fellow blogger Ace’s site and saw he did a bit of David Spade-ology.

You know, Spade’s always struck me as the smart-mouthed, little you always had to sit beside in class that never knew when to stop pushing buttons and STFU. He might have had a fetish for, oh I dunno, Frankenstein collectables or somesuch … Maybe had a pair of Mr. Spock ears stuffed into the back pocket of his K-mart cheap jeans (yes … I have mentioned Mr. Spock twice on the site in one day … just seeing if yunz are awake, hung-over or dead …)

Anyhow, turns out this guy, David Spade, is quite the lady’s man, and the good citizen.

So, I guess I have to sit down and think back and reconsider those booger-eating jackass kids in my high school class that farted out loud, played ‘foose-ball’ with the folded triangle of someone’s homework paper he’d stolen, and pocketed rubber stoppers and tubing from the chemistry class for that ‘still’ he was constructing at home in his dad’s tool shed … because he didn’t learn a lesson from nearly blowing off his fingers while lighting a cherry bomb with a leaky Bic lighter in the teacher’s parking lot during lunch …

Nahhh …

Recently Spade donated the huge bucks to purchase high powered rifles for the Phoenix PD:

FOX:

David Spade Buys High-Powered Rifles for Local Police Department

By Adam Housley

LOS ANGELES — Actor and one-time Phoenix resident David Spade has donated $100,000 to the Phoenix Police Department. The department will use the much needed funds to buy high-powered rifles to defend the city from the growing influence of Mexican drug cartels.

Through his publicist, Spade explained that “these guys need to be able to do their jobs, and I am just happy I could help.”

Spade says he got the idea for the donation after seeing a story on FOX News. Phoenix police say Spade called asking to donate to their rifle program after he saw that officers, outgunned and desperate for more firepower, wanted to buy their own semi-automatic rifles.

“Mr. Spade has stepped forward and has given a gift to our officers of increased safety,” said Police Chief Jack Harris. “I am thrilled that we were able to accept that money that will hopefully bring us to 300 rifles on the street.”

Phoenix Police Sgt. Alan Hill says 50 AR-15 rifles to be purchased with the donation will be given to patrol officers.

Spade, 44, grew up in the Phoenix area and graduated from Arizona State University. The “Rules of Engagement” star has helped out cops before, donating $25,000 to the family of a fallen Phoenix police officer last year.

In October Dave re-connected with his on-again-off-again-I’m-not-worth blonde squeeze “come Heather”:

People Magazine:

David Spade Checks In on Heather Locklear

By Jenny Sundel

A year ago, David Spade owned up that he and Heather Locklear had been an item – only then they became friends, and now she’s a friend in need.

“I texted her to check on her,” Spade, 44, said Saturday night in Santa Monica at the annual benefit dinner and concert for the Lili Claire Foundation (which helps children living with neurogenetic conditions), about Locklear, who was arrested on suspicion of driving under the influence.

In July, Locklear left a treatment center, where she dealt with anxiety and depression.

“I think things get blown out a lot of proportion,” said Spade. “She’s always solid and always a great person. And I think people understand she’s in a tough situation and she does her best.”

When it comes to Locklear, 47, Sapde says, “I think there’s no one that doesn’t feel for her or have nice things to say about her in my experience.”

People Magazine (again):

Nicollette Sheridan’s New Man: David Spade!

By Mary Margaret

Nicollette Sheridan had a special guest at her party to ring in turning 45 – a possible new beau in David Spade.

Celebrating her birthday at new L.A. hot spot Luau with Desperate Housewives costars Felicity Huffman, onscreen husband Neal McDonough and Kyle MacLachlan, the newly single Sheridan at first played it coy with her man of the evening.

“They arrived separately and even started dinner at different booths,” says an onlooker. It was a familiar scene: The duo were spotted a couple of weeks ago at the restaurant’s opening, where they spent the night in deep conversation. This time, though, things got a little more intimate.

“They cuddled and kissed,” says an onlooker. “They were full-on making out in a booth.”

Decked out in a sequined gold frock, the birthday girl sipped on lychee martinis throughout the night and giddily enjoyed a specialty cake that read “Happy Birthday Princessa.”

While a source insists the two aren’t dating, the onlooker said that “David winked at her and stood by her side while she blew out the candles on her cake.”

And just so ya know he IS “getting some” from these babes …

FAQGO.com:

Jillian Grace named David Spade father of her child!

By Mary Joah

Funnyman David Spade is to become a dad for the first time after his ex-girlfriend named him as the father of her unborn child.

Playboy Playmate Jillian Grace, 22, claims she fell pregnant with Spade’s baby after dating him for a short period last year.

And the 43-year-old has vowed to support Grace if her claims of paternity prove to be correct.

He tells TMZ.com, “I had a brief relationship with Jillian Grace. If it is true that I am the father of her child, then I will accept responsibility.”

Me: BTW, that was back about a year ago January … I ain’t bothering to check if a paternity test solved the question or not … Just the fact there was a question is, well, the point.

More alleged Spade-Diggers:

Me: If the guy puts on a Marine uniform or becomes a Navy SEAL … he’s mine.

(H/T Ace … of Spades)