`Coon Bites Off Man’s Pecker When He Tries To Rape The Critter
Toothy raccoon bit off manhood
A FEISTY raccoon has bitten off a pervert’s PENIS as he was trying to rape the animal.
Alexander Kirilov, 44, was on a drunken weekend with pals when he leapt on the terrified – but toothy – fur ball.
“When I saw the raccoon I thought I’d have some fun,†he told stunned casualty surgeons in Moscow.
Now Russian plastic surgeons are trying to restore his mangled manhood.
“He’s been told they can get things working again but they can’t sew back on what the raccoon bit off,” said a pal.
“That’s gone forever so there isn’t going to be much for them to work with.”
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this guy doesnt deserve to have his dick back
Holy cow. Is this for reals? I take offense to this after raising baby coons… My little squirts getting raped is not a happy thought. But Ive been bitten by them and I cannot believe one could do that damage !! Im with Kurty pants, he does not deserve to have a weiner. Its unsafe.
Oh Lord don’t show this to Jenny, she raised Raccoon’s for the animal rescue she volunteers at.
Kurt - I totally agree.
Who tries raping a raccoon? And who’s small enough to rape a raccoon?
I mean are these like Chernobyl raccoons that are freakishly mutated, and the size of gators?
Well drunk folks do some really strange stuff sometimes. Not even the boys from “Deliverance” are that dumb.
Drunk Russians will fuck anything and usually with similarly disasterous results.
I don’t think anyone here has ever been drunk enough to say “Hey, see that coon over there, hold my beer, watch this.”
I know right? Alcohol cannot be the only culprit. This man has obviously had sex with animals before.
Go figure. Jacques Chirac tried to fuck poodle and look what happened.
LMFAO!
You guys kill me!
Somehow I believe it…not that I particularly want to but it’s rather plausible. This is Russia we’re talking about. The national drink of choice is vodka and once you start a bottle, you gotta finish it. Remember back to the last time you polished off a whole bottle of Stoly…my guess is that anyone who has done that has done or said some things they desperately regretted when they were sober again.
I’m working in Germany now. I also have relatives in Holland. They can’t stand many of the Russian tourists that come through. They say they are really low class. They also can’t believe how they start drinking in the morning all the time. Russians don’t just have a couple of beers. These guys are serious when they start drinking. The idea is to get pounded. And I mean pounded. You should see some of them staggering around!
While I thought that raccoons are an Americas only species, I can believe that both a certain type of Russian and a raccoon have the capacity to make this story true.
I have drank with Russian and believe that some are capable of anything.
At my previous house I had an entire colony of raccoons that would visit me on my deck most nights. Perhaps, my favourite animal is the raccoon. While I trust their behaviour enough to have had as many as 24 around and crawling on me, I did once have two big males fight for the colony on my deck. No animal, IMO, pound for pound is their equal; and I have never seen such ferocity.
NO!!!!! Means NO!!!!!
Darwin Award winner
You know what that means….time to march for inter-species marriages. They deserve marriage too. Who says love has to be between two humans?
I’m pretty damn sure you finnish off a bottle of vodka two things are going to happen….1) You’ll pass out, and 2) wake up drunk 3 days latter in a hospital because you had alcohol poisoning. You don’t have the mindset of “Hey, there’s a raccoon, I’m a gonna rape it.”
“NO” means “NO”………
No….
Growwwl…..Grrrr….Grrrr.. that means “NO!”
HARHARHAR!!!!!
“Hey, see that coon over there, hold my beer, watch this.â€
January 26th, 2009 at 9:21 pm
this guy’s mental manhood was mangled as soon as he tried raping woodland creatures.
”
Ivan the Kafir
I’m pretty damn sure you finnish off a bottle of vodka two things are going to happen….1) You’ll pass out, and 2) wake up drunk 3 days latter in a hospital because you had alcohol poisoning. ”
You are a smart guy… except you wake up later that evening when they rinse you out with charcoal.
Was the guy a Russian or from Russia?
Bestiality is common place among ragheads.
Racoons are not to be triffled with, just take a look at any old coonhound worth his ‘Ole Roy’and you will find scars on top of scars.
Actually, about 25+ years ago at a company blow-out, I drank THREE bottles of vodka that night and survived. I then had to get up the following morning and drive for five hours back home.
I have never been THAT stupid again.
I’ll second IronMike. We had a Brittany Spaniel that got into a fight with a raccoon. In no time it had slashed our dogs shoulder wide open. Taking on a small Russian pee pee, it would be nothing to see it destroyed in no time.
Doesn’t the dummy know that coons are for eating?
“Holy cow. Is this for reals? I take offense to this after raising baby coons…”
You will like this as a typical “you won’t believe what the raccoons did…” story.
The rest of you can edit a bit and have a potential narrative of the posted story.
An old mother raccoon having trouble feeding her last litter started my raccoon visits. Her two little ones essentially grew-up on that deck. One night the little female got tired of her brothers antics. She, as quick as a thought, reached out grabbing his tail with one of those dexterous forepaws; and stretched it out and up biting it sharply at about the middle. He launched all the way to the end of that long deck.
i…uh…wow. no words, no words.