Cow Piss Is The New Coke

February 11th, 2009 (11) Posted By .

cow-bottom_385×185_485005a.jpg

Times Online:

Does your Pepsi lack pep? Is your Coke not the real thing? India’s Hindu nationalist movement apparently has the answer: a new soft drink made from cow urine.

The bovine brew is in the final stages of development by the Cow Protection Department of the Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh (RSS), India’s biggest and oldest Hindu nationalist group, according to the man who makes it.

Om Prakash, the head of the department, said the drink – called “gau jal”, or “cow water” – in Sanskrit was undergoing laboratory tests and would be launched “very soon, maybe by the end of this year”.

“Don’t worry, it won’t smell like urine and will be tasty too,” he told The Times from his headquarters in Hardwar, one of four holy cities on the River Ganges. “Its USP will be that it’s going to be very healthy. It won’t be like carbonated drinks and would be devoid of any toxins.”

The drink is the latest attempt by the RSS – which was founded in 1925 and now claims eight million members – to cleanse India of foreign influence and promote its ideology of Hindutva, or Hindu-ness.

Hindus revere cows and slaughtering them is illegal in most of India. Cow dung is traditionally used as a fuel and disinfectant in villages, while cow urine and dung are often consumed in rituals to “purify” those on the bottom rungs of the Hindu caste system.

In 2001, the RSS and its offshoots – which include the opposition Bharatiya Janata Party – began promoting cow urine as a cure for ailments ranging from liver disease to obesity and even cancer.

The movement has often been accused of using more violent methods, such as killing 67 Christians in the eastern state of Orissa last year, and assaulting women in a pub in Mangalore last month. It also has a history of targeting foreign business in India, as in 1994, when it organised a nationwide boycott of multinational consumer goods, including Pepsi and Coca Cola.

The cola brands are popular in India, now one of their biggest markets, but have struggled in recent years to shake off allegations, which they deny, that they contain dangerous levels of pesticide.

Mr Prakash said his drink, by contrast, was made mainly of cow urine, mixed with a few medicinal and ayurvedic herbs. He said it would be “cheap”, but declined to give further details about its price or ingredients until it was officially launched.

He insisted, however, that it would be able to compete with the American cola brands, even with their enormous advertising budgets. “We’re going to give them good competition as our drink is good for mankind,” he said. “We may also think of exporting it.”

beef-urine.jpg

Jihadi Killer Radio Hour
Follow Pat on Twitter
  • grumpy mechanic

    Come on Jenny, just a little sip. :lol: :lol: :lol:

  • NickD

    “and would be devoid of any toxins.”

    Uhhh, isn’t that all urine IS??? Toxins released from the body?
    I know they revere cows over there, but piss is piss. No thanks.

  • Larry In NC

    “while cow urine and dung are often consumed in rituals to “purify” those on the bottom rungs of the Hindu caste system…”

    They already eat shit…might as well wash it down with a high-end distilled bottle of cow piss.

    Nasty-ass people.

  • dogwhisperer

    Dipshits, even their cows are undernurished. Work on fertilizer, irrigation and farm development and eat the damn cows. And when a fly gets on your face especially your mouth, swat the damn thing off!!!

    I’m with NickD, what is left after the toxins are removed?

    BTW, isn’t there a place in california that recycles their own urine as drinking water?

  • cal270

    no people it comes from the under neath thingys you know teets and its white :shock:

  • sierrahome

    San Francisco! – I’m buyin’!

  • sierrahome

    …so push in that stool and drink up.

  • TerryTate

    And to think, I was that close to becoming a Hindu…

    Not really, but cow piss cola?

    Really?

    And India wonders why people think they are backwards as hell.

  • ken

    Brings a whole new meaning to “getting pissed”

  • Eagle fly free

    that is nasty.

  • Kirk

    Now, anybody care for a Mountain Dew?