For Pokey: It Was The Man He Wanted To Be
24 Feb 2009 One Year
At 10:05am Baghdad time 24 Feb 2008 an EFP (explosive formed projectile)was fired up on the second vehicle in the convoy. It hit the driver’s door. My son was the driver. The medic attended to him on sight. Once stable enough he was medivac’d out to the 86th CSH ( combat surgical hospital)where a team of surgeons worked on him. He died in surgery at 11:36am Baghdad time. For 1 hour and 24 minutes he fought his final battle. The others in the vehicle received minor injuries.
At approximately 1pm ( US CST ) two men knocked on my front door. I was at the store shopping when my son called to tell me they were in my livingroom. I knew.
In the past year my family has experienced pain so deep that it is impossible to put into words, joy that we feel guilty for having, people who have amazed me, anger with no outlet, and an emptiness there is no way to fill. I chose to dwell on the amazing people.
Joe, who reminded me early on to look to my son for strength and later imparted the wisdom to let the memories of my son inspire me.
Sgt Lee, who brought my son home to me and then became our friend.
Cliff, who IM’d with me from a hospital in Baghdad and made it ok to have a conversation not about my son. And who told me I don’t fight fair. ( We mom’s don’t)
Doc Strong, Who did everything possible to save my son then had the courage to come to us and sit across from us at a table. Opening himself up to any possibility but giving us comfort.
Howie, Tommy and Peg, Who have all given me a chance to use this voice of a Gold Star Mom to make a real difference. And who answer the phone when I call at any given hour and need to just talk.
Jenn, A BTR host who gets fighting mad when she even thinks someone’s word may hurt me. And that makes me smile every time.
Ron, who befriended me and encourages me to continue to write my heart.
Bravo Company 1/502nd, All of these men and their families who accepted us as one of their own and who make sure my son’s stories are heard by us. Who embrace us and call me Momma Ang.
CPT Ussery, who took the time to invite me to his home and then shared the details he somehow knew I needed to move forward. His and his wife’s friendship is one I will cherish. ( I still want to steal his dog though)
Pat Dollard, who helped me understand that those who we fight in Iraq are not like you and I. I now know what Pokey meant by “soulless Muslim Bastards” They were raised on hate and evil has truly taken their souls. And that my son and all those who fought there truly made a difference in this world.
There are so many people that have touched my life in this past year. People I know I would not have met had it not been for losing my son. As much as I love these people and the gifts they give me, the price was so very high.
I miss Pokey.. Nothing and no one will ever change that. I want him running through the door yelling Mooommmyyy! and asking what’s for dinner. I want him here to run my finger through his hair and have him tell me to stop. I want him to fight with his sister. Then laugh because she gets mad so funny. I want him to take Tony for icees and pickles. I want him to trade CDs with David then complain David has his CDs. I want to make his damned chili mac for him like he asked me to. Of all the food in the world why chili mac was what he wanted me to make for his homecoming I will never know. There will be no 21st birthday party. No wedding. No late night conversations. No making new memories. What we have are a blessing and we hold them dear.
I want my baby home… But a year ago they came and told me he wasn’t going to ever come home again. And since that moment a part of me still screams for them to take it back. He’s gone but he still inspires me. He still gives me strength and courage. And every once in a while he still lays his head on my shoulder.
I love you Pokey. I miss you more than words can say.
Knottie,
It’s my little Lizzie Rose’s birthday …
She thanks you and Pokey.
God bless.
Maggie
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Thank you…
Happy Birthday Lizzie Rose
Knottie, thank you for raising such a fine son. I’m sorry for your loss but am glad you have so many fond memories of Michael.
…..silent tears running down my cheeks…….
You touch many hearts sharing your memory including mine. Thank you Knottie.
God Bless you and your family and thank you for sharing your with us. If we could lift this burden from you, please know we would. But know that our hearts and love are with you always.
God’s blessings to you Knottie.
…fair winds and a following sea Michael…
Thank you for your service and your sacrifice to keep us free.
Knottie,
There are few words that seem appropriate…
Thank you for sharing.
God Bless you and your family.
Knottie, your story touched me, on so many different levels. I was with the 1/502nd Infantry in the 70s, I was in Iraq last year and lost someone I knew to an EFP, and my youngest son turned 21 this past August. Like your son, I joined the military, because that’s what I wanted to be. Thank you so very much, for raising a son that we can all relate to, and be very proud of. You are so very much stronger than I am. Thank you.
May God hold you especially close and ease your pain. Your son is a great american and his loss hurts all of us.
(((((Knottie)))))
Knottie,
I’ve been watching this day approach on my calendar, thinking about you and wanting to reach out to you. I pray that God blesses you and your family. Thank you.
To say “thank you” isn’t nearly enough…but it’s all I have.
Thank you.
“History admires the wise, but elevates the brave.†- Edmund Morris
We won’t forget.
May God Bless you and yours.
God’s loving arms surround us all, through the good and bad. We are all his children. Maggie, thank you for your strength and this tribute to your son. You are all in our prayers tonight.
Knottie- Thank you for your son. You have our utmost sympathies and respect. God Bless-
Thank you, and God Bless.
thank you knottie. God Bless you.
I need to clear this up.
It’s Knottie’s son.
My little girl shares her birthday today with Knottie’s son Pokey’s anniversary of ultimate sacrifice.
Sorry for the confusion.
Maggie
I need to clear this up.
It’s Knottie’s son.
My little girl shares her birthday today with Knottie’s son Pokey’s anniversary of ultimate sacrifice.
Sorry for the confusion.
Maggie
May God grant him rest in blessed repose and make his memory to be eternal. And may He give strength and comfort to you and your family.
Aww knottie
I am so sorry for you,and I wish I could help. T^hanks for your son, he seemed like a good kid.
(((knottie)))
We got a pleasant surprise today. As we were finishing lunch. My wife’s phone rang. It was one of my son’s squad members. He and his father drove down to visit the grave today and wanted to meet up. We talked for a good hour before I had to leave. It was nice to see the guy and talk with them.
Knottie, I’ve set here for many minutes wanting to share my thankfulness for you, your son and your family…but none of my words touch what my heart wants to say.
Thank You!
Knottie, no human being could make a sacrifice greater than the one you made. I thank you, and I love you for it. May God Almighty bless you and your family forever, and may He keep your son joyous and busy until you meet again. Busy, ’cause I know soldiers with idle hands get into trouble, even in heaven.
Those of us who serve(d) do so with the attitude that we know the risks and are willing to assume them for the greater good. It is hard for us at a young age (teens and twenties) to appreciate the worry each day brings to those who love us.
It was not until I had grown children of my own that I understood the sleepless nights and anguish a missed letter or phone call could cause my family.
Knottie, you have lived our worst fear … loosing a child who was in harms way. I can not begin to understand the depth of pain or loss you have endured. I can only say “Thank You” for your son’s service and you family’s sacrifice.
God Bless
So many emotions come over me knowing the sacrifice of our military families.
Pokey is a hero that will never be forgotten by any of us.
Great respect, tears, heartfelt thanks, and love to you and your family Knottie.
There are no adequate words.
I want to ask everyone to please be inspired by my son. He stood up for something he believed in. He took his stand and saw there was something in this life worth fighting for and dying for. When you think of him be inspired, find courage and stand and up and fight for something.
and smile.. he hated frowns.