Ben Stein’s Advice On Surviving The Recession: Get A Dog

April 6th, 2009 (22) Posted By ticticboom.

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  • tlk

    Has anyone had a Shiba Inu?

  • http://www.effldirect2.com EDinTampa

    i have a shiba, 10 years old now. what a great dog.

    This story makes Marcus Luttrell’s loss more real.

    Here is something I got from Zell Miller’s Deficit of Decency:

    God summoned a beast from the fields and He said to the beast:
    Behold man created in my image.
    You shall protect him in the wilderness,
    Shepherd his flocks, watch over his children and accompany him
    wherever he may go, even into harms way,
    You shall be his companion, his ally, his slave.
    I will endow you with these traits uncommon to other beasts:
    Faithfulness, devotion and understanding, surpassing those
    of mankind himself.
    Lest it impair your courage, you shall never foresee your death.
    Lest it impair your loyalty, you shall be blind to the faults of man.
    Lest it impair your understanding, you are denied the power of
    words, your eyes shall convey the truth of your heart.
    Lest man’s attachment to you grow too great, the span of your life
    shall be brief.
    Walk by his side, sleep in his doorway, forage for him, ward off his
    enemies, carry his burdens, share his afflictions, love him and
    comfort him.
    And in return for this, man will fulfill your needs and wants,
    which shall be only sustenance, shelter and affection.
    So be silent and be a friend to man.
    Guide him through the perils along the way to the land that I have
    promised him.
    This shall be your destiny and your immortality.

  • http://www.operatorchan.org Hughes_dePayens

    I’ve always wanted a dog, but my mom/sisters have allergies…

  • Rhune

    .. and if shit really hits the fan you can eat it. :beer:

    • Jarhead68

      What? Are you Asian? :wink:

    • trustme1013

      Hot dog!

      No — that’s actually quite sick. In China, they have a pet thieving problem!

  • Rhune

    … the dog. not the shit..

  • David

    And dogs are better than the whores in congress. They are loyal and don’t take campaign contributions. They will always do the right thing. “Dog” is “God” spelled backwards. What else do you need to know?

    • mindy abraham

      true-they are

  • http://www.coloncleanseadvice.net/ David

    And dogs are better than the whores in congress. They are loyal and don’t take campaign contributions. They will always do the right thing. “Dog” is “God” spelled backwards. What else do you need to know?
    Sorry, forgot to add great post! Can’t wait to see your next post!

  • CptDustOff

    I have a fresh batch of German Shepherd pups for sale. They are a great security force multiplier.

    http://www.ustream.tv/channel/german-shepherd-puppy-cam

  • Kermit

    Ever hear about the the agnostic fellow with dyslexia and insomnia?

    He lies awake at night wondering if there really is a Dog.

    Okay I wonder if Obambi will ever get a dog even if his life comes crashing down past those big ears.

    • tlk

      I hope he gets one. Dogs know when someone is evil :twisted:

    • Jarhead68

      And then there’s always the new support group called D.A.M. – Mother’s Against Dyslexia

  • John454

    Just rescued a stray German Shepherd mix puppy last month.

    And everything Ben said is true. The fucker is stuborn like me but is loyal, protective, and learns quick. Fun and infuriating at the same time.

    Anyone who prefers cats over dogs is fuckin weird.

  • DesignR

    I love Dogs, but have owned Cats for 20 years.

    My cats have all caught birds and bugs, they poop where I want them to and are warm on the feet on a cold night. Yes, they are Prima Donna’s but can be surprisingly helpful on a gloomy day.

    I’ll be getting a dog soon for companionship and security. But that dog will need to get along with the other furry thing in the house. Sorry about that, future Dog. :smile:

  • RANGER

    I JUST GOT A GERMAN SHEPARD PURE BRED 2 MONTHS AGO. MY 5TH GERMAN SHEPARD. SO FAR HE HAS KILLED A CAT AND A GOOSE!! NOT A BAD START. 2 CONFIRMED KILLS IN 2 MONTHS!! MY OWN SOLIDER. BETTER THEN MOST PEOPLE I KNOW. NOTHING LIKE HAVING A GERMAN SHEPARD THAT WILL RIP OUT SOME ASSHOLE’S THROAT THAT TRIES TO BREAK INTO MY HOUSE!! ESPICALLY ATF AND OTHER COMMUNIST GOVERMENT AGENCIES!!! :twisted: :gun:

  • dilly

    I got a husky. The fcker will pull me for 5 miles on cross country skis, what a thoroughbred. I think he was an army ranger in his last life.

    • rightangle

      Because the U.S. Army 10th Air Rescue Sqdrn. once experimented with sled dogs? Or is this another “dilly” of a comment trying to out-backhand “franchie”?

    • rightangle

      PLEASE SKIP THE PREVIOUS COMMENT. MINE TOO.

  • Roland

    Well said Ben :!: :beer:

    Except that, as eluded to by some already, dogs can contribute more than simple companionship; and be partners in our works and pastimes, if we choose both well.

  • Shaun

    “… the dog. not the shit..”

    ROTFLMFAO thanks for clarifying I didn’t even consider that interpretation until you brought it to my attention!

    “In China, they have a pet thieving problem!”

    They also have a human population problem.