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“Bacon Baby” Baby Formula Touted As “Great Early Stage Development Tool” That Produces Physically Superhuman Geniuses



Apr 3, 2010 16 Comments ›› Pat Dollard

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“At 2 years old, the research claims the child read her first 300-page book, memorized the Declaration of Independence and began composing a symphony.”

ABC News 15:

You’d feed your infant bacon-flavored baby formula when pigs fly, right? If that’s the case, the latest product from J&D Foods might have hogs taking flight sooner than you think.

J&D’s Foods has one main quest: To make everything taste like bacon. J&D is the maker of very unlikely, but very real bacon-flavored products including Bacon Salt, Baconnaise, BaconPOP, Bacon Lip Balm and bacon-flavored envelopes. With their latest unveiling, they’re one step closer to achieving the improbable.

Parents can now pork up their infant’s diet with Bacon Baby, a bacon-flavored baby formula.

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J&D cites in their announcement post on baconsaltblog.com that this isn’t a hoax or even just another bacon-flavored product, it’s a formula to improve your baby’s quality of life, can help them excel at a young age and they say they have legitimate research to back up with.

Dr. Bill Sears, author of the groundbreaking book The Nutrition Deficit Disorder, cites the importance of high protein/high fat diets for early stage infant brain development in a recent article on Brain Foods. Since J&D is a company that specializes in making products that are based on bacon, which is 65 percent fat, they began exploring the possibility that making a bacon-flavored product for infants could make a great early stage development tool.

Obviously infants aren’t able to consume bacon in its traditional form, so the team thought of alternatives.

Co-founder Justin Esch says the company consulted with pediatricians and began to experiment with drying and grinding bacon into a fine powder and concentrating the powder into the most essential nutrients and ingredients for brain development. The potential infant superfood was then added to a test subject’s infant formula.

J&D says astonishing results were found. By the time the test subject was 4 months old, she reportedly started to exhibit abilities far earlier than most babies, including walking and talking.

By 6 months old, the test subject could reportedly read and memorize early stage children’s books. They also claim that the infant showed an extreme level of coordination and balance, so much so that she was enrolled in gymnastics and ballet with children five years older than her.

At 2 years old, the research claims the child read her first 300-page book, memorized the Declaration of Independence and began composing a symphony.

The company says numerous other tests heeded similar results.

Thus the research founded Bacon Baby Infant Formula. J&D says the new product ensures that your child gets the fat, proteins and complex nutrients they need to excel at an early age.

Unfortunately, Bacon Baby isn’t available at your local grocery store here in “Porkopolis.” J&D is currently only offering the product for a very small waiting list on a first-come, first-serve basis since they have a very limited production capacity at this time.

Interested parents are asked to e-mail Justin and Dave of J&D Foods as part of the Bacon Baby Contest at BaconBaby@jdfoods.net with a few paragraphs about why their baby deserves to be one of the very first recipients of Bacon Baby Infant Formula. The company says they’ve already received several hundred replies asking for the formula and the wait list is ever-growing.

So mom and dad: whether the research claims are true or not, would you buy bacon-flavored baby formula for your infant? Let us know in the comment section below.


  • PUNISHER55

    April fools?

  • richwill

    If it is not April fools, then wait until the food police discover this product.

  • SgtJenz

    This is a whole pig pen full of hog wash.

    Get the little tykes hooked on the taste and they grow up only wanting bacon. By the time they are 10 years old the little tykes will look like hogs themselves. :wink:

  • Lone Wolf

    More bacon products to fulfill your consumer desires:
    http://www.mcphee.com/shop/categories/Awesome-Stuff/Bacon-&-Meat

  • idi amin dada

    Fat is very important in the early stages of brain growth. There is probably some truth to this.

  • bacongreasenapalm

    :beer: :beer: :beer: More and more uses for bacon every day.

  • Tim Roesch-Pseudo Intellectual

    Your brain is, essentially, a large, lump of fat laced with a complex stew of carbohydrates.

  • LechWalesa

    April joke

  • idi amin dada

    Sure reason that muzzies are stupid. :lol:

  • Sixchuter
  • http://hyperinflation-watch.blogspot.com/ ZenDraken

    I know mine sure is.

  • mike3481

    Article was originally posted on April 2nd.
    ___________________________

    I’ve read where 90% of the human brain is made of a material that is basically pure cholesterol.

    BTW, didn’t Alzheimer’s disease show-up shortly after cholesterol lowering drugs hit the market?

    Food for thought, pun intended. :wink:

  • vanglock

    Very interesting. Got any links to verify?

    My Dad had Alzheimers :cry: and it worries me that it will be my fate as well if there is no cure discovered.

  • mike3481

    No links, sorry.

    I read that in the late 1980′s, some doctor was railing against the cholesterol lowering drugs, he was like a voice in the wilderness and couldn’t get any traction.

    I looked around the web for some sort of verification, but no luck, and I can’t recall the Doc’s name. I sorta put the pieces together over the years, you know, there’s no such thing as a coincidence etc.

    Anyways, I’ll never take those drugs, I’m pretty sure rather have my heart explode and drop dead, than slowly lose my mind.

    I always wondered if the Alzheimer’s research has included that angle and when I’ve asked, all I ever get is, “I don’t know”.

  • SC

    I don’t want my genius baby being the youngest ever heart transplant patient. Sorry, but being smart isn’t everythang!!! Take it from me… :idea:

  • Odin2012

    Bacon or fat is high in DHA which is very important for brain and emotional development in babies.
    Wolves will crack open the heads of their killed prey and feed their pups the brains before they are aloud to eat muscle tissue. You have no idea how smart wolves are. :beer: