No One Will Hear You Scream, All Right: F-ing Banned In Space

June 28th, 2010 (11) Posted By Pat Dollard.

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The Telegraph:

Commanders do not allow sexual intercourse on the International Space Station, it has been disclosed.

“We are a group of professionals,” said Alan Poindexter, a NASA commander, during a visit to Tokyo, when asked about the consequences if astronauts boldly went where no others have been.

“We treat each other with respect and we have a great working relationship. Personal relationships are not … an issue,” said a serious-faced Mr Poindexter. “We don’t have them and we won’t.”

Mr Poindexter and his six crew members, including the first Japanese mother in space Naoko Yamazaki, were in Tokyo to talk about their two-week resupply mission to the International Space Station.

The April voyage broke new ground by putting four women in orbit for the first time, with three female crew joining one woman already on the station.

Sexual intercourse in space may appear out of bounds, but astronauts have been known to succumb to earthly passions.

In 2007 former NASA astronaut Lisa Marie Nowak allegedly wore adult diapers when driving hundreds of miles across the United States without bathroom breaks to confront a suspected rival in a romance with a fellow astronaut.

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  • Tyler520

    What the fuck is the point of goin to space if you can’t fuck in space!

    • The Sentinel at the Gate

      Exactly! I would be a shame if we, the US, had no members of the Orbital Club.

    • CPLViper

      There has to be some kind of scientific data that can be useful from that type of experiment.

      Also, if this is the case, I resind my request to be chosen for that multi-year mission to Mars.

    • DC

      :arrow: Sentinal:
      Would it be called the “150 Mile High” club? :lol:

    • mike3481

      What I read was :arrow:

      “Blow-jobs only.”

  • http://hyperinflation-watch.blogspot.com/ ZenDraken

    Funny how this is coming from a guy named “Mr. Pointdexter”, who, you will note, is no longer actually *on* the space station. Much to the crew’s relief.

  • http://patdollard.com Average Joe

    Hey, if I’m up there, I don’t want some guy’s ERRANT SHOT floating around the place looking for a body to land on…………

    NASA to require they hook the couple up to giant vacuum hose…………oh, baby. oh,baby. aaaaaahhhhhhhhh.(as detached dick can be seen out porthole and going into low-Earth orbit).

    • DC

      ….”What is it?……I’m not sure, sir…..it looks like a huge…..JOHNSON!!!!!!!!! :lol:

    • Xavier

      ROTFLMFAO

  • http://www.usfamily.net/web/nightrider Wild Phil

    What would be hilarious is a male scientist who came across a female scientist on the space station but when the male scientist was undressing the female scientist found out that she was one of them Shemales LOL :lol: :lol:

  • RexRedbone

    So much for that rocket docking in a warm welcome port