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Men Victims Of Home Depot/Lowe’s Parking Lot Crime



Jul 3, 2010 21 Comments ›› Pat Dollard

home-depot

Women often receive warnings about protecting themselves at the mall and in dark parking lots.

Well, now vicious parking lot crime has hit the male population.

A ‘heads up’ for those men who may be regular Lowes or Home Depot customers. Over the last month I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. Simply going out to get supplies has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don’t be naive enough to think it couldn’t happen to you or your friends.

Here’s how the scam works:

Two seriously good-looking 20-something girls come over to your car as you are packing your trunk. They both start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, with their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts. It is impossible not to look. When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say, ‘No’ and instead ask you for a ride to McDonald’s.

You agree and they get into the back seat. On the way, they start undressing. Then one of them climbs over into the front seat and starts crawling all over you while the other one steals your wallet.

I had my wallet stolen May 7th, 9th, 10th, 15th, 17th, 20th, 24th, & 29th. Also June 1st & 4th, twice on the 8th, 12th, 14th, 16th, 23rd, twice already today and very likely again this upcoming Monday.

What a horrible way to take advantage of decent, helpful men. Warn your friends to be vigilant.

Wal-Mart has wallets on sale for $2.99 each. I found cheaper ones for $1.99 at Dollar General and the Dollar Store.

Seems like no one is safe anymore.


  • tahDeetz

    Like they say, ya can’t rape the willing.

    tD

  • Ohnooo

    A cheap wallet with a bunch of Obama hundreds in it would be the ticket for a great thrill!! :beer:

  • Little Joe McCarthy

    Thank you for that very funny article. I just finished peeing my pants laughing at the last three paragraphs. Happy 4th, everyone!

  • mike3481

    That was the first thing I’ve read today and it was awesome!

    Ya had me goin’ there for a moment Pat. :lol:

  • Hunter

    From the “Cooked Chicken” through Iraq and still has a great sense of humor. Thanks Pat. Keep going we need you Drudge and all the conservative to get the word out like you always do. Hey maybe the way to fix Washington is to send them all Lowe’s and Home Depot.

  • http://EyesOfAmerica.com Kiowah

    rflmao Too many tequila’s! Ole! :beer: :beer: :beer:

  • SC

    I only wish that was going on here. I have nothing in my wallet and they’d be the victims I can tell you… Very funny…

    • http://EyesOfAmerica.com Kiowah

      You do? That makes it more funny. I have nothing in my wallet, still found a bottle of cheap Tequila! Ole! Dancin’ the dance of truth! Sooooo where is the “killer” hour two?

  • GRIZZ

    Chloriform :shock:

    • Cold Soldier

      LMAO :lol: I like the way you think :lol:

  • TerryTate

    :lol:

    A very funny story.

    Why are the good stories always fake.

    • http://patdollard.com Pat Dollard

      Because they’re just like tits.

    • TerryTate

      Yeah, I was thinking that might be the answer.

      :lol:

    • Annieb

      Hey Pat, I resent :???: that remark on behalf of my twin girls! Sharon and Karen have been attached to me since the day I was born. Nothing fake, Nothing injected, no implants, nothing marked on, just good old fashioned,USA made, big beautiful breasts. Oh yeah, Sharon and Karen :cool: :cool: are the names I gave the girls. What? You didn’t know girls/women give their girls names? See, you learn something new everyday. :idea:

  • T-Bagg

    Which Home Depot is this? So, ya know, I can stay away.

    Wait it’s fake? No. :cry:

  • http://www.killingjanefonda.com C.L.Lucas

    I wrote a short story once (in college) called “Film Hookers”…..at NAS Millington in the day when you had to wear your uniform (summer whites, cracker jacks) out for the first 8-weeks before you got your civies chit, these hot girls would cruise the streets in their cars and stop to make conversation, offer you a ride, then try to get you signed up for a lifetime supply of free film and developing…for a small fee, of course. Anywhoo, I took liberty in the story with 1)the clap 2) whiskey 3) allotments and 4) a hot, but “missing toothed” vixen with a hankering for a gaudy CZ set in 14k sold at “The Brass Rail” a titty bar on the main drag w/ a jewelry shop combined…

    Oh but I digress–I reckon the digital age has put them out. Maybe I’ll go to Home Depot now…

  • http://EyesOfAmerica.com Kiowah

    Those were very, very funny, Lone Wolf. (Still laughing)
    I did answer “No” though. Honestly. Don’t believe me?
    Come over here and look into my eyes, you are getting
    sleeeeepy, very sleepy. Asleep yet? No? OK, look deeper.

    Still waiting for the effects of the “Tequila” to kick in.
    (Should that have been affects? No, that would be “affecting” something, I’m looking for the “Effects”
    of something. Ole)!

  • streeter

    Spent all day at home Depot yesterday and couldn’t even get my wallet “stolen”.
    What an f’in year.

  • JDBAUGHMAN

    hahahahahahaha lmfao!!! this had me rolling man!!!! hahahahahaha i seriously laughed like crazy!!!

  • http://www.snooperreport.com Mark Harvey

    I liked the days the wallet was stolen. ROFLMAO