Home  »  Humor  »  Witches Unite To Take Down Tim Tebow

Jan 13, 2012 14 Comments ›› Pat Dollard

Fox News:

New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady may not need the help, but some witches are planning to cast a spell to put an end to Denver Broncos quarterback Tim Tebow’s miraculous season.

Witches Lorelei and Lori Bruno were scheduled to hold a seance at noon today – Friday the 13th – at Haven Crow Corner in Salem, Mass. to fix a win for the Pats.

“I’m going to raise the energy of the universe and send out all the good mojo,” Lorelei told the Boston Herald. “Lori will call in the Angels.”

The good witches won’t hex Tebow, as it’s “not their way,” but plan on setting up an altar with a hand-sewn Brady puppet and mojo bags filled with herbs and stones for every Patriots team member.

At the altar, the witches will chant, “Tom Brady will see what he needs to see, be where he needs to be and will take the Patriots to another victory.”

Hunky QB Brady, married to supermodel Gisele Bundchen, is a bigger draw for the witches of Salem than another recent marquee recipient of their spells, Charlie Sheen.

“You know, when we had our spiritual intervention for Charlie Sheen last year, we had a hard time getting all the girls to come,” laughed Lorelei. “But when we told them this Circle was for Tom Brady, oh, everybody will be there!”

“We want the true champion to come out on Saturday night,” Bruno added. “But since we live in Patriot Land, it’s red, white and blue and make the dream come true!”