Sep 24, 2012 No Comments ›› Pat Dollard
GO CHOKE ON IT! The Post has assembled a gift basket for Iranian basket case Mahmoud Ahmadinejad stocked with city memorabilia, Jewish delicacies, a ticket (in his name) to “Old Jews Telling Jokes” and a card signed by New Yorkers.
(NY POST) Feel the love, Mahmoud — and taste the gefilte fish.
Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad arrived last night at the Warwick Hotel in Midtown in advance of his annual hate-spewing address to the UN General Assembly on Wednesday — and The Post tried to deliver him a gift fit for a despot.
The anti-Semite’s special welcome basket — from New Yorkers with love — included such locally procured goodies as Gold’s Borscht, Manischewitz Gefilte Fish and smoked whitefish from the world-famous Murray’s Sturgeon House on the Upper West Side.
If Ahmadinejad (pronounced: I’m a dinner jacket) needed midnight munchies during his visit to this infidel city, there were also plenty of H&H bagels, onion bialys and Zabar’s cream cheese.To cheer up the sourpuss hatemonger, there’s a $125 comped ticket to the off-Broadway play “Old Jews Telling Jokes” — booked in his name. It just might take the edge off his bloodthirsty desire to develop nuclear weapons and wipe Israel off the map.
Anticipating the schlumpy, unshaven dictator’s penchant for wearing the same suit all week long, we thoughtfully included “I ? NY” undies and a stick of Irish Spring deodorant, to keep the flies away.
For those quiet moments away from spinning centrifuges, he can relax with a good book. But since it’s likely he can’t read the truth about 9/11, which he condemns as “a big lie,” there’s a picture book, “The 9/11 Report,” a graphic adaptation by Sid Jacobson and Ernie Colon.
There’s also a bobblehead Statue of Liberty to keep on his night table, a teddy bear to cuddle with during those cold Persian nights and a 9/11 American-flag refrigerator magnet that he can stick on the minibar.
The Holocaust denier might want to learn something about the subject by taking in a tour of downtown’s Museum of Jewish Heritage: A Living Memorial to the Holocaust. We packed a brochure.
Of course, a basket of cheer wouldn’t be complete without a card — the little kitty on the cover might melt his evil heart — and New Yorkers lined up to pen their personal greetings.
“Happy [Jewish] New Year 5773. Available for counseling if you need it,” wrote psychologist Alan Hifler, 64, outside Zabar’s deli on the Upper West Side.
“Welcome to New York and the USA! Home of all that is good!” scribbled student Gabriella Guimaraes, 20.
“We’d gladly burn your tongue with coffee,” another woman wrote.
Mark Kirszner, 69, a retired social worker, said, “He could choke on it.”
The Post tried to deliver the care package to Ahmadinejad at the Warwick last night, but his goons weren’t too appreciative of the generous gesture.
One A-Jad operative seemed so horrified at the sight of a Post reporter and photographer that she snarled, “You’re going to endanger my life!”
That’s prompted a US Secret Service agent to walk over and say, “This isn’t gonna happen. You have to go.”